Top 9 Tips for Self Care

self careLiving with depression, anxiety, trauma, and other mental illnesses takes a toll, often in more ways than we realize.  Our wounds leave us fragile and sensitive to the suffering of others. It is not uncommon for those with mental illness to find it difficult to read about certain subjects, view movies with disturbing themes, or even to read the news.  This is referred to as being triggered, because witnessing or learning about the suffering of others may trigger the reopening of our own wounds.

While mental illness leaves us vulnerable and sensitive to the suffering of others, it also has a way of increasing our interest in those stories that feel familiar.  We have been through a lot, and we can easily identify with how others feel.  We don’t want to shut the world out as a result of our reactivation. Practicing self care is a good way to manage our reactivation while staying engaged with the world.

Here are 9 tips for self care so that you can stay engaged with popular culture, the stories of others, and current events while protecting ourselves from being triggered and re-traumatized.

1. Draw your circle of influence

My first year of college, I took Intro to Psychology, Intro to Sociology, Intro to African American Studies, Intro to Family Studies, and Intro to Child Advocacy. To say that I was overwhelmed with all of the problems in our world is an understatement. I emailed my Sociology professor one night and she suggested that I make a list of all of the problems that were weighing on me and enclose them in a big circle. Then to make a little circle inside of the big circle and list the things over which I had control. These were the areas I was to focus my energy and attention. I could still care about the big list, but the small list should be my primary concern.

College Control Circle

2. Know your limits

Some issues are too intense for certain people. War, sexual abuse, child abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking, child slavery, and genital mutilation are some topics that frequently overwhelm people who are more sensitive than others. If you are able to identify an issue or even several issues that you know cause you too much emotional pain, respect what your body and mind are telling you and avoid that issue. Protecting your emotional health by setting a boundary about the kind of content you expose yourself to is a sign of maturity and strength. You should not feel ashamed or embarrassed that you want to censor some information in order to preserve your mental health. A great resource for checking the content of movies before you watch them is the content advisory section on IMDB.com. You can search for any movie, then in the listing, scroll down to the parent guide and you can screen the movie for any of your sensitive topics.

3. Abstain when triggered

If you are having a difficult day, week, month, or even year, it’s ok to take a break from reading the news. The world will continue to function and progress, for better or worse, without you reading the headlines. It is admirable to be informed of current events, but not if you are sacrificing your sanity.

4. Participate with others

If you are ready to watch the news or watch a movie about a difficult social issue, do it with someone else. Being with a caring person while learning about the tough realities of our world is comforting. You can be informed, and have someone to talk to about it after.

5. Express yourself

If you find yourself overwhelmed with the current state of the world, a book you read, or a movie you watched, express yourself through writing, art, music, or any form of self expression. It is cathartic to get the feelings out and it will help you process your experience.

6. Take a break

You decide to watch a movie about a tough issue, you felt prepared, then all of a sudden you find yourself flooded with difficult emotions. Stop the movie. Put the book down. Turn off the news. Healing our world starts at home. Do not re-traumatize yourself in the name of being well informed or well read.

7. Develop a spiritual practice

Many people find it calming to pray, meditate, visualize peace, do breathing exercises, chant, or any number of other spiritual practices. These are not only calming to the practitioner, but many believe that they also impact the rest of the world in a positive way.

8. Get involved

Sensitive people and those who have been traumatized are not the best candidates to be first responders. If you suffered child abuse, becoming a foster parent might be too difficult, but you could start a shoe drive to donate new shoes to foster children. If you survived domestic violence, working in a domestic violence shelter might be overwhelming, but you could knit some scarves and hats for those who live there during the winter. If you lived through a natural disaster, you may not want to volunteer to search houses for bodies after a hurricane, but you could organize donations for the survivors. You can still be active while you protect yourself from further trauma.

9. Use your brain

We are hard wired to self sooth ourselves. One of the ways we are programmed to self sooth is through eye movement. Reading requires us to move our eyes back and forth as we complete each line of text. This signals the brain to produce calming neurotransmitters that help you relax. This means that if you are intent on learning about the latest earthquake, but you lived through one that was very traumatic for you, read about it instead of watching a video of it. The eye movement of reading will act as a buffer against the difficult content.

The news, social media, films, books, and other art forms can be difficult for people who come from hard places and have experienced a lot of suffering. Sometimes it is impossible to even predict what you are going to see, hear, or read. But it is possible to protect yourself and preserve the progress that you are making. Sometimes self care is the only way to get through the minefield that can be our daily lives.

If you have a story that might give hope to others, please consider submitting it.

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