Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dissociation

My name is Carol anne.  I am an alter in a DID system. That means I share my body. With a lot of others. We are multiple.  The other name for it is dissociative identity disorder.  I am 19, but our body is 35.  We are from Ireland and we were diagnosed with DID

in 2010.  I am not the birth personality.  She never or rarely comes around.  I am a protector. And the main fronting personality. I deal with daily life.  However I am not always in control.  Sometimes I switch and another alter personality fronts for a while.  Then we dissociate and lose time and sometimes can’t remember what happened.  DID is a very scary illness to live with at times.  The time loss, confusion, flashbacks, dissociative spells, they are all very frightening.  But it is also an incredible and adaptive coping mechanism.  It allowed me to survive unspeakable child abuse at the hands of people who were meant to be caring for me.

I am blind and my abuse took place at a boarding school for blind children.  For 12 years I was abused almost daily. And as a result I developed dissociative identity disorder.  My mind fragmented into pieces and split off the memories of the abuse and other parts insiders alters took them for me.  We function quite well despite having did.  We go to college.  We socialise with friends.  We live on our own.  Weekly appointments with my thearpist and psychiatrist allow me to live quite a normal and independent life.  without them I am not sure where I’d be today.  I have the most amazing and wonderful psychiatrist.  And therapist.  They are incredible people both of them.  They are great listeners, so caring, gentle, compassionate, and well versed in trauma and treating it.  You can read more about them on my blog. Thank you for reading this story. Feel free to email me or get in touch via my blog.

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