Humans, and especially children, are hard wired to be resilient and rise above abuse. We grab onto a glimmer of hope, health, and love, to make that our guide to recovery.
From around 6 years old I remember being verbally and physically abused by my Mother.
She would call me fat and ugly, even though I was never an overweight child or even remotely chubby, I was actually always one of the tiniest kids at school.
I also don’t consider myself ugly, and I have been told by lots of people strangers even, that I am pretty, etc, anyway that’s not the point everyone has a different perception of beauty, but I don’t really think its normal for a parent to call their child ugly repeatedly, I certainly wouldn’t say that to mine, or anyone for that matter.
My mum would hit me kick me, belt me for no reason, I was always a very well behaved quiet child so was never naughty, but even so that’s no excuse to abuse a child.
She would always favor my older sister and compare me to her, My older sister loved this, and she would also call me names, and get me in trouble, and laugh when my mother was abusive towards me.
My mother was very controlling, I wasn’t allowed out, I wasn’t allowed to have friends over or allowed to their house, she even used not letting me have food as a punishment.
She was very unloving and never said I love you or showed affection, in fact she said I hate you so many times, and that she wished i was dead, had never had me.
She wasn’t supportive of me in anything I did, and would never acknowledge my talents.
As far as my Father goes he was very unavailable, left all the parenting for my mother to do and he just basically sat back and let my mother abuse me, or he would sometimes even join in.
Anyway I could go on tell so many horrible stories but it would be far too long, and you probably wouldn’t want to hear them.
To put it simply dealing with such horrible abuse it did cause me a lot of emotional pain, From being around 8 years old I remember my issues with food starting, and me developing an eating disorder, due to that fact that my mother would call me fat, I started to believe it, and did everything I could to lose weight, I suffered with anorexia and bulimia, and I am finally in recovery now at 23 years old.
I dealt with social Anxiety, panic attacks and Depression which I still deal with today but they are a lot better.
I remember wanting to die or kill myself so many times but I am so glad I didn’t, I basically just had to pick myself up because I had no one to help me, and I just choose to get better and be happy.
I now write a Blog to help others dealing with these types of things at: http://www.libertylifeandselfhelp.com/