The Agoraphobic Life

agoraphobic

What the agoraphobic wants *normal* people to know:

When I say I can’t go out I really can’t.

For some reason my brain reacts as if it’s life threatening event. And what I experience is very similar to what everyone does when they start to pass away, scary huh? Imagine having those feelings through out the months?

I’m not seeking attention or staying at home cause I’m choosing to do it. Agoraphobia is never a choice it’s a stress reaction set off by your own mind due to the fight or flight response.

My breathing gets harder and faster my heart feels like it will burst out my chest, my head spins almost like the whole room is spinning, my legs go like jelly an I feel like I’m blacking out! As well as sweating an excessively shaking. This is a panic attack. I’ve missed out on loads the past 3 years holidays, days out etc.

So next time someone thinks agoraphobics are strange people, or make no sense imagine what it’s like to be in their shoes? Imagine the sleepless nights, the nightmares an possible flashbacks from their past.

I feel like a failure, most days and I advise anyone suffering with this to have hope to take up hobbys and remember God loves you and all the people who love you. We are strong mental health warriors that’s why me and many others despite it all keep fighting, I’ve been through traumatic events that I can still replay in my head but I remember all the good things I have now, I cuddle my dog I play a PlayStation game. Cause *I’m only human*.

Agoraphobia is not for the faint hearted.

Panic attacks and serve depression isn’t either.

Until you’ve experienced what I have to go through everyday, don’t judge! You don’t know. So if you’re able to go out this new year wherever you go. Me an many other agoraphobics are envious of you. Spare a thought for people like us we want to desperately do that we hate being trapped in this disease, cause that’s what it feels like. agoraphobia has limited my life in many ways an I understand some people won’t understand this. but so be it I think it’s time everyone knew the truth, its awareness unless you been in mine or others shoes you won’t understand. You think sitting around watching TV etc. all day sounds like an easy relaxing life but it just reminds me of how every day I’m wasting my life away, an can’t do anything. I guess next year I may have to accept the medication. I would just like to add to anyone out there, if you ever get into an abusive relationship get out! It could cause great distress for your life trust me on that.

Thanks , take care everyone.

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