The Mirror and the Door

door

The Mirror and the Door: My story of HOPE and SURVIVAL

Hello my name is M/R Johnson, I have challenges of depression, addiction and suicidal ideations, that are called co-occurring disorders. I have been in recovery for several years and I must say I appreciate the fact today I can look at myself in the mirror and say I LOVE ME.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you forgot who you were? Or where you were? Or who you belong to? Or have you ever asked yourself what must I do to win in recovery; when you know life has been unfair and your addiction becomes your best friend?

Well for me until I found the door of recovery I was lost.

Looking in the mirror I would ask myself when I wanted to die, could it be I have a purpose bigger than myself? I would often ask myself how do I not be afraid to want to run or escape from life on life terms, when my addiction  was all I knew that brought me temporary happiness even though I knew I  was on a road to death.

Then in my sober state it seemed the mirror would reveal the truth that my addiction was out of control. That is when the door open and made me understand in order to win in my addiction and stop suffering in my depression and suicidal thoughts,  I had to decide within myself and face the demons of the past to move forward.

See, the mirror can make you see the truth when you are asking  yourself the questions how to become free. What the mirror revealed to me was there was a door that only I could open and go through called professional behavioral health  treatment to learn and understand; that no matter what I have been through I am not alone,  there is hope and recovery is possible.

Today I am free, no longer is hurt, pain and sadness my friends. Yes, I still have challenges but I am free!  And now when I look in the mirror I keep saying over and over to myself…I love me, I love me, I love me and I am so grateful I walked through the door of recovery.

The Door

I stand at the door and knock anyone that opens the door; I will give him strength and power to overcome that which has enslaved him.

-Memoirs Of An Addict: Fact or Fiction

 

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